The Symphony Of Hearts
by DamselOfWords
Summary: Will is being strange towards Tessa. She confronts him about it at a ball held in the Institute. Events turn out in an unexpected manner leading to a night that may ruin Tessa's life. But, there is a certain silver haired boy who is willing to help her.
1. Chapter 1

You can listen to Evanescence- Going Under.

Sweet Turned Sour

Will Herondale stood on the roof, the deep blue of his eyes correctly matching the dark autumn hue of the twilight sky. He was thinking about one girl; Miss Gray, Tessa and then Tess; how attached he had become to her in such a short period of time. What a grave mistake? It was wrong of him to talk to her, to laugh with her, to be so much at peace, to be so at bliss. Slowly, he had begun to forget the terrible secret he caged within himself. There had been times he had nearly confessed to her and it had taken great constraint to hold back. He could not taint her with the curse that only he should bear. His lips pursed tight, he nodded to himself, finally making the decision that had tormented him for so long. The winds around him danced and whispered, tousling his tempest of raven black hair. He often wished he could be like the wind; wild and free, travelling across the lands, so untamed and without a care in the world. But he was not. His life and his decisions centred around one tragic secret that he could not speak of, even with the woman he loved, especially with the woman he loved.

Tessa stared at the pages in front of her. She had gripped the sides of the book hard and her intelligent eyes were fiery. Her posture as usual was perfect, back straight and shoulders pulled back. She pouted now and then, as though what she read gave her great displeasure. Her eyebrows were squeezed together and there was grimness to her eyes. She looked as if she might throw the book in to the fireplace in front of her once her curiosity as to what happened next was quenched. And, like often, the source of her anger was one boy. For the past few days Will had been strange and distant. He avoided her mostly and the rare times they were together he ignored her. Their conversations at meals or when among others lasted a few seconds and was formal as though they were merely acquaintances and nothing more. Tessa had tried enquiring as to what the matter was but he pretended she did not exist or made some excuse to leave her presence. And as for Tessa the remedy for her anger was books which incidentally she did not enjoy reading for the past few days. Suddenly, sensing a presence she snapped the book shut and looked up behind her. Will was staring down at her.

"What is the matter? You look angry" he enquired.

Tessa sat the book on the loveseat and stood up to her full height facing Will. She was a tall girl but Will was at least two heads taller. He always looked down on her when speaking and for unknown reasons it irritated Tessa.

"You finally noticed" she asked tilting her head slightly to the left. "Why do you think I am angry Will?"

"Unfortunately, I do not read minds. But whatever the reason anger is easily gotten rid of"

"And how is that?" Tessa asked folding her arms below her chest.

"Well, when you are angry count four and when very angry swear and my guess is you should do the latter."

"Will, I am serious. You have been ignoring me for the past few days and…" she trailed off. She wanted him to speak to, to explain.

"And what? It is only normal to get tired of people sometimes so stop getting worked up over such trivial matters" he said coolly and walked away from her towards the book shelve.

Tessa felt a wave of anger rise in her chest. They had been courting for the past month in secret. It had been Charlotte's suggestion to hide the matter until the Enclave established what Tessa really was and stopped seeing her as a potential threat. She was a downworlder after all and any shadow hunter dating them was frowned upon.

"So you are tired of me now? You do not wish to court me any longer? Is that it, will?" she asked bitterly.

"I never said that. I was tired of spending all my time with you, that is all. However,

I am pleased to know that you have missed my company so much" he said turning towards her with a smirk on his face.

"Well, I suppose I should get used to it then. Perhaps you might prefer the company of some other woman for a while and then come back to me when you are tired of her. How wonderful, is it not." She remarked with heavy sarcasm and hurt.

"You look like you are about to cry. I better go get Jem; he is good in dealing with such matters"

"There is no need for that. I know better than to waste my tears on you. You are heartless as usual"

"If that were true then you are saying that I do not love you"

"You tell me, Will. It is strange I think that I am a downworlder and you are a Nephilim. I thought angels would be more capable of kindness and warmth."

"You may be right. You cannot even swear. Quite good-hearted for being the devils spawn."

Tessa gasped. It was true but hearing it from Will stung. She was the devil's spawn. Did that mean she was not human at all? Then how was she capable of feeling love and happiness. She shut her eyes as if to clear her head. Her lips were set in a thin line as she turned on her heel only wanting to get away from him.

"You seem very angry, Tessa"

"Yes, which is why I would prefer if you left me alone for a while or maybe you would do that anyway" she said though clenched teeth quickly walking away from him out of the library.

Will stared after her conscious of a small flush tainting his cheek bones. He leaned against the bookshelf resting one arm on the ladder beside him that lead to the higher bookshelves. He looked up at the high ceiling observing the intricate woodwork when he heard footsteps. His attention disrupted he saw Tessa enter the library and walk towards him. Her face was flushed and her gray eyes were almost flaming and so intense. He thought her eyes were like the gray moon, tinted with silver. They were cloudy when she was sad, fiery when enthused, sparkled when happy, dull when lonely. She lived in her eyes. And presently they were furious. She was beautiful nonetheless. In a matter of moments, she stood in front of him boring her eyes into his.

"Will Herondale, you are a beastly little bastard" she whispered furiously.

He stared at her for a moment with something resembling surprise on his face. That was something since nothing much surprised or impressed Will. Immediately, Tessa covered her mouth with her hand. A hectic spot of red formed on her cheeks and she averted her eyes in shame. A profanity escaping her mouth was something she had never imagined she could possibly do. Will seemed somewhat impressed and confirmed it with a "Very good. I must admit that I am quite surprised."

Tessa did not reply but turned and walked out again torn between feeling ashamed or feeling a sense of triumph. She walked towards her room to find Jessamine waiting outside.

"Tessa! You are so late. I reminded you earlier that we had to go shopping to pick out some wonderful dresses for the ball tomorrow. Punctuality is a habit I wish you would pick up" she remarked with authority.

Tessa mumbled an apology and hurried to get dressed. Tomorrow the institute held a ball and Tessa was required to be present. Somehow, she wondered if she could see Will in the face again.


	2. Chapter 2

SONG: Ave Maria –Beyonce

I Could Dance All Night

Tessa stood in front of the mirror staring at her reflection. She thought that this was one of those rare occasions where she felt truly beautiful. Jessamine had picked out a silver and white gown that looked splendid on Tessa. The dress was beautiful with delicate tulle ruffles which accentuated the strapless bodice of the charming dress. Small satin ribbons circled the bodice below the increased bust and at the waist, while the flared floor length skirt was resplendent in soft, sequin studded tulle that provided an elegant look. Her hair was down in long tumbling curls. The only jewelry she wore were an freshwater white pearl tear drop earrings and a silver twisted necklace with a lovely high lustre pearl pendant. There was a carefree and loose look about her.

"You look good, Tessa. Why would you not after all the work I put in? I picked a wonderful dress" Jessamine said standing with a smug expression near Tessa.

"Yes, the dress is wonderful. Thank you for your help."

"You are welcome. Now you must hurry. It is late as it is."

"Why! You are not dressed yet. I shall wait for you if you wish"

"Thank you, but that will not be necessary. I shall be down later. Now make haste!"

"Well alright then. I suppose I will be leaving fashionably late so it should not be too awkward" Tessa said conscious of a tiny wave of nervousness race through her body.

She did not want to be the only one walking down the long staircase while everybody's attention was on her. The ball had started a while ago and most guests would have arrived by now. She left Jessamine's room and walked down the passageway. Stopping in front of a dramatic grand staircase with dark cherry wood balustrade, Tessa had a good view of the massive circular ball room. At the bottom of the staircase, on both sides were statues of two angels made of archaic stone. One angel had a face of tragedy with torn wings and the other smiled warmly holding a flute in hand. The room was fantastically ornate decorated by quite a few chandeliers with apple shaped bulbs that illuminated the whole space. The floor and steps were carpeted in a tight, light prairie gold stitch and looked new as if it had been put on yesterday instead of the many years it had endured. The warm and inviting hues of burgundy, cream and deep greens complimented the inviting atmosphere. The large room was filled with well-dressed people. They radiated an air of well bred and respected individuals. That is how it should be; they were part angel after all. Every woman looked beautiful and every gentleman handsome. Tessa knew she was the odd one out.

Will stood against a wall with his arms folded. There was a woman standing next to him enlightening him with the most recent news of the attack on the werewolves. The way she spoke, patiently and slowly made Will feel like she would never stop talking. There were other women not far from him, their gazes secretly examining him. It was annoying. The Enclave did not like him very much and Jem, Charlotte and Henry were the only shadowhunters who could stand him so he wondered why these women desired him. He did not care; the only woman his eyes admired was the one descending down the stairs. He watched Tessa as she shyly walked down, keeping her eyes forward focusing on nothing as half the people in the room scrutinized her. He could tell from the redness of her cheeks that she was embarrassed, a trait he loved about her. He noticed that some individuals were whispering to each other now, their eyes still on Tessa. He could guess what they were saying. "Dear God! What is this downworlder doing here?" Or "Is she not dangerous? Why is the clave so lenient with her? They should lock her up." Or even "Since when do filth like downworlders attend the same parties as us!" .Suddenly a vicious anger rooted in him and he narrowed his eyes.

Tessa was still walking down the stairs, her stomach in knots when she saw Jem standing at the bottom. He rested his arm on the railing and smiled up at her. As she neared the end of the stairs he put out his hand and she took it. The relief of relaxation made her release the breath she had not realized she was holding.

"Oh Jem! I am so glad you are here" she almost whispered.

"Why would I not? I live in the institute so..."

"I mean, thank you for coming up and speaking to me. I felt extremely uncomfortable with everybody watching me. I know I do not belong here but-"

"A spectacular entrance, I must say. Everybody must have been awed by your beauty so you cannot blame them for staring"

Tessa smiled. "Thank you Jem."

Jem looked handsome Tessa thought. His hair was neatly combed back and his gray suit brought out the silver in his eyes. He was still smiling at Tessa when she realized her hand was still in his. His hands were well carved, smooth and warm but felt uncomfortable. As if suddenly realizing the awkwardness of the moment Tessa pulled her hand away. Jem stared at her for a moment and then turned his back on her and said "We should go to the refreshment room. You must be hungry seeing as you did not each much during tea." Without waiting for an answer he started making his way through the groups of people who stood talking and laughing.

The refreshment room was a large space holding quite a few people enjoying biscuits, sandwiches and cracker-bonbons. Tessa's eyes immediately landed on the sweet confectioneries; jellies, blanc-mange, trifle and tipsy cake. The air of awkwardness seemed to have dampened in the past few minutes and Jem was himself again.

They were laughing and sipping their drinks when Jem felt a pat on his shoulder. He turned to see his best friend standing beside him and unexpectedly felt an acute sense of sadness. Will greeted Jem while his eyes remained riveted on Tessa.

"You look like a bride, Tess" Will commented, his eyes travelling the whole length of her body.

Jem saw the shy smile that took form on her lips, saw the way her eyes lit up as though flames had sparked behind them and did not fail to notice the rouge her cheeks had gained. A slow sense of loneliness spread through him like poison consuming any joy he had felt earlier. He heard Tessa's laughter like the tinkling of bells after Will made some sarcastic comment. It had always been this way. Tessa seemed happiest when Will was around. And though they did not announce that they were courting, Jem knew their relationship ran deeper than friendship. Will especially did not care whether people noticed and gave him uneasy looks when he spoke to or touched Tessa in any manner. He seemed to want people to know his relationship with a downworlder and obviously did not care about the little reputation he had left. People respected Will only because he was one of the best shadowhunters around. They were still talking, Will and Tessa, when another woman joined them.

"Good evening Mr. Herondale, Mr. Carstairs" she said politely and nodded at each of the men respectively. Her attention on Tessa was merely a glance along with a disgusted twitch of lips, no kiss on the cheek or even a smile. One might think downworlders were contaminated.

"Good evening, Miss Westfall" Jem said smiling trying to dampen the awkward atmosphere that had been created with Will completely ignoring the woman and pouring himself a drink instead. Tessa stood with an uncertain expression.

"I heard of your accomplishments concerning the eradication of the nest of demons in Eastern Europe" Jem said sounding impressed.

Miss Westfall smiled. "I have to say, one of the most eccentric forms of demon I have yet seen. It had a tiny nappy head and a coarse face. The voice of the creature was particularly astonishing, so high pitched and disturbing; truly revolting, the scaly skin that covered the creature's body!"

"Really" Will said, carrying a serious expression as though he were in deep thought "sounds something like you." Both women gasped. "Apart from the scaly skin of course" he corrected. Jem looked astonished and immediately apologized on his friend's behalf and showered compliments on Ms Westfall informing her of the beauteous she was. It did not seem to work. Miss Westfall glared at Will before mumbling something about what a pathetic and immoral shadowhunter he was. Tessa winced when she heard this but bit down on her lip to stop herself from speaking.

"Will, what is wrong with you?" Tessa scolded.

"You saw the way she looked at you" Will said, sipping his Madeira.

"That is not an excuse. You need to be more polite"

"No point in warning him Tessa, he is rude as always" Jem remarked shaking his head.

Instead of feeling ashamed Will accepted his fallen state with gusto.

"You are right. If rude is another word for expressing your thoughts then rude is what I am. But at least I am not a liar" Will said looking pointedly at Jem. "What was all that stuff you said to her about looking like the angel of beauty?"

A small flush appeared on Jem's pale cheek. "I may have gone a little far but that is no excuse for your improper comment" he said sounding authoritative. Tessa nodded in agreement. Will rolled his eyes before he finished his drink, took Tessa's hand and lead her towards the ball room. The next set of dance was about to begin when Tessa stopped midway.

"Will, this may not be a good idea. I do not think it would be appropriate for me to dance with-"

"Why not?" he cut in "besides a lady should not refuse a gentleman without an appropriate excuse"

"We are suppose to hide our relationship, remember"

Will sighed. "Things like that are too tiresome. I do not care what they think of me."

"No but I do." Tessa sighed "Listen, It will not be for long and-"

"What are you so scared of?"

"Nothing Will, I am only thinking of what is best for us and Charlotte said-"

"Forget what she said. If you expect me to spend tonight by exchanging secretive glances and smiles with you then I might as well enjoy eating biscuits with Ms Westfall while discussing how best to slice a demon. "

Tessa stared at him. "Fine, Let us dance. We have nothing to hide. Both of us do not care about what other people think so it should not be a problem. Besides I do not like hiding our relationship either" she said trying to convince herself that this was a good idea.

"I like that. Maybe I should kiss you right now, that way everybody will know sooner" he said mischievously.

"Will!" Tessa exclaimed.

He smiled the crooked smile that made Tessa's heart tip and blood sing in her veins. They stepped on the ball room floor, positioning themselves for the next polka dance.

Jem stood in the ballroom towards the side where the gentleman and ladies who did not prefer to dance stood and engaged in hearty conversations. He watched Tessa and Will dancing and it struck him for the first time how elegant a couple they were. They were both good dancers, enjoying each others company. He suddenly wondered how it would feel if he were the one who had her in his arms, had the luxury of caressing her cheek or push back a curl that fell on her brow. But he was not jealous. He was well aware of the fact that he was on his way out and had nothing to offer Tessa. Besides, he wanted them to be happy together. And as much as he cared for Tessa he suspected he cared more for Will. He was still submerged in his own world when the music became slower, softer. He blinked a few times and realized with a start that Tessa and Will had disappeared from the dance floor. He looked around wondering where they had gone when he heard someone clear their throat. It was the sort of noise someone made when trying to arrest one's attention. It was a soft and husky voice and he knew only too well who it belonged to.

"Jessamine" he said before he turned to look at her. She smiled in return and momentarily he was caught off guard. One could have said she looked like Aphrodite-the Greek goddess of beauty.

"They have gone to the balcony" she said in her silvery voice.

"What?" he asked, not quite understanding what she was talking about?

"Will and Tessa, You seemed to be looking for them."

"I see" was all he said.

But Jessamine was still staring at him carrying a strange expression on her face. Jem wondered why he was not attracted to her. She was very beautiful and…his thoughts stopped there. There was nothing about her personality he particularly took delight in. She was a nice girl if you were on her good side otherwise you always had the feeling of a puppy about to be whipped. Jem sensed that feeling presently as she tilted her head and scrutinized him. He was not at odds with her as much as Will was. Will and Jessamine always argued and she always gave up in the end.

"What is it, Jess? You are staring at me"

For an answer she lifted her hand up to her forehead, her silver bracelet slid down her arm and her lace sleeves ruffled. The whole action carried a dramatic tone.

"Oh poor Jem! I feel so sorry for you. But Tessa is taken so you must get over her. It is not healthy if you allow your heart to pursue her."

Jem felt his heart skip a beat. He smiled "I appreciate your concern but I fear you have the wrong idea. I care for Tessa as a friend." He turned to leave but stopped for a moment and said "And I would also appreciate it if you concerned your self with your own affairs."

Tessa stood in the balcony enjoying the wind blowing on her face and observing the deep violet folds of the night. Will was standing next to her, his hands in his pockets. His shirt was loosely tucked into his trousers and his hair as usual seemed tousled. They had had fun dancing but then Tessa had wanted a breath of fresh air but both of them knew what the true reason was. The other couples back in the room had stared at them and Tessa had heard some of the horrible things they whispered about her. Was she so strange, so unworthy to be with a Nephilim.

"The moon is grey tonight" Will said, his eyes staring at the beautiful circle in the sky. "Much like your eyes, I think."

Tessa blushed. "Thank you, I-"

"I never said that was a compliment."

"Oh, of course"

"You know, you have got to accept what you are"

"What? I...I do not even know what I am"

"Still a creature from hell; you seem to have problems with-"

"Of course it is hard for me! I have been trying, have I not? Does it bother you, Will? Is that why you have been distant for the past few days?" she asked desperately.

Will shrugged. "Let us go back inside. You have had enough of fresh air."

"Stop" she said as he turned to walk back in "Just tell me what is wrong. There is something else Will and you are not telling me. You are hard to read but I know"

Will did not look at her. He clenched his fists as the same urgent desire to tell her everything tempted him. May be he should tell her and it would be okay. She would understand. But he could not. Instead he turned to her and said "Can you not stop being nosy once in a while? You are so exhausting."

"Will! I am worried about you."

"Worry about yourself; the silent brothers want to see you tomorrow and Charlotte said it was not good news. I did not imagine it would be anyway."

"Why do you say that?"

"Tessa, think about it. You can change into any person in the world, know and understand their thoughts and feelings and that means you can be dangerous. What you are, right now may not even be the real you. You could be an old woman with bug eyes and wrinkly skin."

Tessa felt a something cold settle in the pit of her stomach. She opened her mouth to say something but the words died in the sob that escaped instead.

"Why are you saying such cruel things?" she asked trying to gather herself.

"Truth is bitter." He said and shrugged. He did not meet her eyes but was looking somewhere in the distance.

A loud and unnerving silence followed. He is right; Tessa thought. What he said may well be true but to have thrown at her face what drove her on the edge of despair was like an arrow to the heart. She stared at him wondering how it was that they were in love. A dark tornado was forming in her heart and she asked herself _"Does he love you?"_ and a voice within her said _"He loves you in his own fashion."_ Taking a deep breath as if she were about to go under water, she said "I think I am going to go to my room."

"I will walk you" he said and began leading the way.

Few minutes later, they stood outside her room and she opened the door. Before Tessa walked in to her room she turned to thank him but she immediately forgot the words and instead she found herself staring into his pain struck eyes. A mild sense of shock overcame her. Why so sudden? What was he so sad about? They seemed so open and raw with grief. Instinctively, she moved her hand to caress his cheek but he held it midway. And before she knew it he was holding her close and kissing her. Before Tessa could even comprehend what was happening, she felt an alien emotion overwhelming that set her nerves jangling beyond control. He walked inside the room almost carrying Tessa, all the while kissing her fervently and shut the door with one foot.

They had kissed before but not like this. Their tongues and sweet breath mingled in the deep yet sorrowful kiss. After what seemed like the loveliest eternity Will moved away. He stared into Tessa's eyes as if searching for something.

"Will, I do not think..." but she could barely finish what she was saying.

Will took in everything; her flushed cheeks, cloudy eyes, heaving bosom and the hourglass shape of her body. Tessa almost felt drained the way he looked at her. He was such a beautiful boy. She admired the arresting planes and angles of his jaw and cheekbone, the perfect shape of his lips and his enchanting eyes. They did not speak in words but their eyes did their communication for them. He moved towards her again and looked at her while his hands slowly travelled up her back sending through her a series of shivers. She felt her bodice loosen, felt the heat in her own body. He was confident of the way he touched her. There was an aura of aggressive masculinity he possessed. Tessa felt as though she were at the brink of some fathomless chasm and once she fell she would not rise. But had she not already fallen for him. Suddenly the whole world seemed faraway from this bliss they felt at each other's presence. Will looked at her again for reassurance and in that one moment when a hysterical rush of affection and passion overwhelmed her she pulled him close and pressed her lips to his. "I love you Will. I belong to you alone." This would probably be the bravest thing she would do in her life yet. He carried her to the bed and she felt like she was in some daze of happiness.

When he first entered her, it was shock that racketed through every bone in her body. Then the realization she had completely given herself to him, given everything she ever had. Despite the pain and wetness of eyes a pure joy filled her. As her eyes slowly closed that night with Will lying next to her, his head cradled in the crook of her neck she wondered why a woman rejoiced when she lost something; her heart to man, her virginity, her ability to be loyal to anyone but her beloved…_Even though we are not_ _married yet, you are my husband now_, she thought as she succumbed to the unconsciousness of sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

SONG: Power of Love- Celine Dion

"How could an Angel break my heart? Why didn't he catch my falling star? I wish I didn't wish so hard. Maybe I wished our love apart."- Toni Braxton.

For You I Will… 

Tessa stirred, something soft was tickling her ear. "Hmm…stop that" she mumbled sleepily.

"Tess, I am really bored. Wake up"

Will's voice fell on her ears like some beautiful symphony. Immediately all sleep deserted her and her eyes were wide open. She rubbed her ears and looked at him questioningly. In answer he ran his forefinger softly across the inner curve of her ear.

"That really tickled" Tessa said rubbing her ears again.

"Had to wake up my belle dame" he remarked moving on to caress her velvety cheeks.

"How long have you been awake, Monsieur?"

"quarter of an hour or so…for a few moments I enjoyed watching you sleep but then I figured it would be more fun if you were awake and talking to me."

Tessa smiled. The previous night's events came rushing back to her mind gaining her magnolia white face a roseate colour. Presently, she felt so safe and happy. There were few incidents that made one feel more comfortable and secure than being tucked away with the person you loved most. She snuggled into him, the body scent of grapefruit and cypress wood wafting from him filling her with some strange serenity.

"What was the dream about?" she asked, her lips moving against his bare chest.

"Well…It was mostly about you" he said with a strange expression. "In the dream I had experienced a rather tiring day after killing three shax demons. Three and a half to be accurate but Jem delivered the finishing blow to the last one and being a good friend I allowed him the credit. I returned to the institute ravenous and immediately demanded Sophie to make me some pudding. As I sat down to enjoy the delicacy, already anticipating the rich taste you appeared out of thin air and snatched the spoon away from my hand. The disturbing part was that you had quite hairy knuckles and a rather large moustache. You leaned in to place your lips on mine but I moved away utterly surprised. However, you did not give up. Your body transformed into a demon but your face was your own and the moustache had disappeared. You sat opposite me and I decided that out of good manners I should share my pudding with you." He sighed with relief "I woke up with my heart thundering in my chest and thankfully realized you were no demon."

Tessa remained in polite silence for a moment before saying "A strange dream indeed. Would you like me to interpret it for you?"

"You can try…but warlocks do not have such abilities. The interpretation of dreams can only be done by very few of the silent brothers. Did you know that Charlotte's uncle was visited by an angel in a dream and the silent brothers interpreted it to be-"

"Will" Tessa interrupted impatiently "allow me correct my choice of words. Would you like me to _tell _you what I think the dream suggested?" She did not wait for his answer. "I think this dream represents your true love for me. I imagine that despite my demon form you loved me and it was not good manners but pure affection that led you to share the pudding. Oh! How lucky I am to have you?" she quipped with feigned sweetness.

Will stared at her unable to suppress the small smile forming on his lips. "It was merely a dream. Why do I sense anger in your voice?"

"Well! Did you expect me to blissfully accept that you saw me as half a man and then a demon in your dream? I would have liked you to have dreamt of me as a princess or perhaps an angel" Tessa complained sulkily.

Will put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "Princesses, Tess, are too fat due to the amount of food they consume and angels…well I have never seen one. However, neither of them could ever match the kind of beauty I see in you."

"And…what kind of beauty is that?" she asked propping up one elbow and resting her head on the palm of her hand.

Will cleared his throat, gained a grave expression and recited rather dramatically:

EXULTING BEAUTY, phantom of an hour,  
>whose magic spells enchain the heart,<br>Ah! what avails thy fascinating pow'r,  
>Thy thrilling smile, thy witching art?<br>Thy lip, where balmy nectar glows;  
>Thy cheek, where round the damask rose<br>A thousand nameless Graces move,  
>Thy mildly speaking gray eyes,<br>Thy golden hair, where wonderful Love  
>In many a mazy ringlet lies?<p>

"I do not know any further since I had only read so far and gotten bored but it suggests how I see you."

"How beautifully you charm a woman. It makes me think you must be capable of charming the devil himself"

Will shrugged. "A God given gift, I suppose"

They kissed before Will stated that this might be the best time for him to sneak back to his room to avoid suspicion. Almost instantly, Tessa's eyes dimmed and her smile faded.

"Must you leave now? It has been such a wonderful morning"

"I can stay if you wish. It is you who is against our relationship being exposed"

"Yes, you must leave" She said tiredly "I do not want you facing troubles from the clave"

Will looked as if he were about say something but decided against it. Tessa turned away as he dressed and shut her eyes when he walked out, the sound of the door shutting so firm and final that it sent a stab of pain through her heart. She wondered why she was hurting at his temporary absence when soon enough she would meet with him at breakfast. Smiling to herself she sat up to go get dressed.

When Tessa arrived for breakfast she witnessed what she did every morning; Jessamine arguing with Will, Jem speaking with Sophie while she poured him tea and Charlotte scolding Henry. Today she noticed Henry looked rather down. As she walked toward the long table she heard him complaining to his wife "I am so sorry darling, it pains me to inform you that the Branwell pistol is a failure. I was making that in your honour. It was supposed to hold wooden bullets to kill vampires but…"

"It is alright, Henry. You can always try to invent other things. I am not in the least sad or angry."

Henry's head was down in shame and his long sleeves were ripped in some places. Tessa did not wish to know how that had happened.

"Good Morning Tessa" Jessamine said with a certain harshness to her tone. She looked lovely as always. Her enormous amount of golden hair like silk tassels was down past her shoulders and her lips seemed redder than usual, almost like ripened strawberries.

"Good Morning Jess, you do not sound very happy"

"Now that is really surprising, is it not?" Will mocked. Everybody was aware of how unhappy Jessamine truly was in the institute. She called it a prison and could not wait to catch a mundane husband so she could fly to freedom as she would put it.

"Tessa, I heard that Miss Westfall humiliated you yesterday and you just let it pass."

"Well humiliation would be exaggeration but yes she did look down on me. However, I did not think it would be wise to slight any shadowhunter when the silent brothers are constantly suspicious of me."

"Well, you slighted me" Will said and smiled in a lopsided manner.

"That was different and you deserved it" she replied conscious of her cheeks burning up. She had used a profanity against him but she chided herself everyday so she may never do it again. A lady must never forget her good manners and must keep all emotions under control as her Aunt Harriet used to say.

"Well," Jessamine said observing the mysterious smiles which Will and Tessa exchanged "That is no excuse. I have a plan to get back at her."

"I do not think that would be good idea" Tessa commented immediately.

"Besides Jess" Jem spoke up for the first time that morning "It is not entirely for Tessa that you want revenge on Miss Westfall but for your own purposes. I know that you two do not get along very well."

Jess flushed. "I…So what? It will be for Tessa and I both"

"What are you going to do Jess? Pull her hair and stick out your tongue at her?" Will enquired feigning interest.

"No! My plan consists of something more mature which of course someone as immature as you would not understand"

"Of course, your half-witted strategies would be beyond my understanding" he mocked yet again.

Jessamine became angry then and asked Charlotte to interfere. Jem and Tessa smiled at each other. The two of them found arguments between Will and Jess rather amusing.

"Tessa, you will help me, will you not?" Jess asked.

"Jessamine, when I was a child I reasoned like one but now that I have grown up I would like to put all the childish ways behind. Let us not discuss this anymore. Besides, Will, my gallant knight stood up for me" she said smiling.

Everybody stared at Tessa, their expressions strange apart from Will who had one eyebrow raised. Tessa's heart clashed like cymbals when she realized what she had said.

"And finally it is out in the open! Honestly, dear Tessa I wondered how long the two of you would hide the true relationship you shared. I have known for a long, long time" Jessamine boasted, her soft brown eyes gleaming.

"They have not been courting for a _long, long_ time, Jess. But we have known for a while" Jem said smiling.

Charlotte looked worried for a moment and emphasized yet again that it must be kept a secret for good reasons. It was only Brother Enoch who knew about Will seeing Tessa and he had not been too bothered by it. As long as they did not have any improper intimacies which could prove dangerous since Tessa's true origins and the fact that she was sterile was in still in doubt. Brother Enoch even viewed it as positive that Tessa's weakness was a shadowhunter. She was not consciously a threat but her powers were something rare that had never been seen before. What she did not know about herself had to be discovered.

Tessa's face was so flushed that it looked like it might explode. She was shy for a moment but soon recovered composure. Everybody, even Henry seemed happy, seemingly apart from Will. He did not contribute any words about his involvement with Tessa. Instead, he ate quietly as if suddenly he had lost interest in having a conversation.

"Tessa, I would like to speak with you after breakfast." Charlotte said with certain concern.

While Sophie cleared the dishes, Tessa and Charlotte walked to the library in silence. As the older woman opened the large wooden doors a figure clad in a black cape floated past them and stopped by the large fireplace inside the massive library. Charlotte and Tessa exchanged glances.

"Brother Enoch, You are early" Charlotte said as she rushed toward the hooded figure.

Tessa followed with a sense of dread. These brothers who were considered so important looked to her like devil's advocates. Who would mutilate themselves? Surely self harm like that should be considered a sin. Tessa had never admitted to anyone yet but she had wondered if these brothers ever married. Sadness filled her at the thought of the woman who had to see that distorted face everyday not to mention touch it. She watched with interest, Charlotte and the brother staring at each other. They were talking through telepathy. The brother could not speak since he had his lips sewn shut; it looked dry and scaly like a lizard's skin.

"Tessa" Charlotte suddenly said "the brother would like to speak with you"

She was about to agree when with a start she realized something. She could not speak with the brother, not right now. Though the brother knew of her relationship with Will, he did not know of the forbidden act they had committed. She shook her head and hurried towards the exit hoping the brother would not float behind her. Charlotte surprised, excused herself and followed the worried girl.

"Tessa, what is the matter? Brother Enoch wishes to speak with you"

"I cannot, Charlotte. Please do not ask me why"

"But you must! The brother wants to ask you a few questions. If you refuse it will only raise suspicions."

"What are you women whispering to each other?" Will asked, suddenly appearing at the doorway of the library.

"Please talk some sense into this girl! She does not want to speak with Brother Enoch"

"I cannot blame her, I find him quite an uninteresting person myself" Will said.

"Will! Please be serious" Charlotte urged. "I shall go tell the brother you will be ready in a few minute so please compose yourself Tessa"

As Charlotte walked away, Will said "You are worried that he will find out what happened yesterday night."

"Yes! If that brother finds out you could be accused of breaking the law. I know they consider me a prisoner in this institute until they decide what I truly am. You will not be allowed to court me even in secret."

"I will take care of it. For now, instead of worrying about me, just go and answer his questions."

Tessa stared at him concern creasing her forehead.

"Go on!" Will urged.

As the two of them neared the fireplace, Brother Enoch lifted his head that he kept bowed most times. Tessa bravely saw the scarred and ugly face, her unflinching gaze holding his. Surprisingly though, he jerked his hand forward as if he were about stab someone and motioned Will to step forward.

Tessa watched impatiently as Will and the brother stared at each other. She suddenly wished she could read minds so she could hear what they were discussing. Will's eyes unexpectedly became dark; a cold stream of anger running through them and the brother's expression as usual was unreadable.

After the longest moments of Tessa's life, the brother took a step back, folded his arms behind his back and floated his way outside the library with Charlotte hurrying behind him. Tessa almost asked if he wanted to speak to her but bit down on her lip to keep the words escaping. Her heart was as tight as a fist. A part of her did not want to hear what the brother had told Will. If he were in any trouble, she thought angrily, she would go seek out the brother and speak to him herself.

"Do not get yourself unduly worried. He will speak to you on a later date. You are not in any trouble" he said flatly but it was easy to discern the fury boiling behind those words.

"What about you, Will? You are not in any trouble, I hope."

"No, I am not." he said running his hand through his hair.

"Well, did he know? I mean…what did you say about us?" she asked carefully. He looked irate and Tessa knew that something was terribly wrong. Yet again she sensed like she had many a time before that Will was hiding something. She had tried numerous times to ask him but the matter was always brushed away with some sarcastic comment.

"I told him that it did not mean anything. You were available and I had nothing better to do and I shall deal with whatever consequences that arise."

Tessa absorbed the words quietly. Of course he had to say something like that to a member of the clave. She understood. "Did he believe you?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, he did. It was partly true after all" he said coldly.

Tessa stared at him. She wondered if the brother was hiding in some corner listening to their conversation; only that could be a possible explanation for what Will had just said. She looked around before her eyes met Will's. He looked angry, the muscles in his cheeks and jaw taut enough to outline the bone. Tessa felt an icy pang settle in her spine. _Why did he look furious? What had Brother Enoch said to him? Why did he say what he just did?_

"Will…I-"

"You know I care about you. I care about you more than I might have cared about anybody" he cut in. "However my feelings are not enough to accept you completely. I cannot put my life as a shadowhunter in jeopardy for you. You understand, I hope."

Tessa felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She parted her lips to speak but then immediately closed them again. After a few moments she managed to gather herself together.

"I understand…but of course once they decide that I am not dangerous we can be together officially. The clave would not oppose that." She was irritated now, wondering why she allowed the clave to rule her life. But she had to if she wanted to be with Will. It annoyed her how she had to keep her love life a secret from the Enclave because Brother Enoch had told her so-_"It would damage the little reputation he has left and there is a high chance that other shadowhunters may not agree and wish for him to leave like his father did. Besides as much as the clave does not oppose the rare cases a shadowhunter courts a downworlder you cannot forget you are different."_ Tessa could not have argued with that.

"No, but I am afraid you do not completely gather what I am telling you. I cannot court a downworlder, something that is not only hellish in origin but is beguiling to the very bone."

A moment of unnerving silence passed before, to will's surprise, Tessa laughed; an excruciatingly mirthless sound.

"Please Will; tell me this is one of those cruel and mocking jokes that you are so skilled in making. Tell me it is and I will laugh, I promise."

"I am sorry Tess but it is not…You asked me why I had been distant earlier and well, now you have your answer. As for yesterday night it was a mistake…" he said and walked out unable to stand there and watch Tessa any longer. He moved with great difficulty as if walking were a difficult manoeuvre. He had lied to her, lied inside out. But she had believed him, believed his hurriedly made up lies. He did not give a damn whether she was a downworlder or not. But he had been foolish and weak. He should not have done what he did yesterday night. He had no right to do that to her. But he could not deny that that was the happiest he had been in a long time. He had woken up in the morning and been swayed by her beauty, her loving warmth that he had entirely forgotten that he should have left by dawn, like he had planned earlier. Once again, he had been close to telling his secret- that which destroyed him every time he thought about it. But he needed to leave Tessa for her own good. It was funny he thought, how in the agony of parting he looked into the depths of his love. He wondered if he was being a coward by lying or brave enough to stay away from the woman he loved.


	4. Chapter 4

_Song: All I need – Within Temptation_

_OR_

_Song: Memories- Within Temptation (I prefer this one ;) )_

_OR_

_Song: Blue eyes- within temptation (It reminds me of Will and Tessa but for this chapter I'm not sure but give it a try anyway.)_

_This chapter is from Jem's POV._

I think Jem's love for Tessa is like an unfinished symphony, their friendship could have become a love story but it didn't because Will came in. (just a thought I felt like sharing)

Misty morning comes again and I can't  
><em>help but wish I could see your face- Taylor Swift.<em>

Wilted Flower

I still remember the summer winds and how they caused the flowers to whisper, the leaves to sing and sway. I still feel the warm and intoxicating smell of wildflowers that prettied the many gardens and once again I see the birds on wing, imagine the laughter that used to echo across these great halls of the institute. Now it is silent and cold like a corpse, the huge halls dark and gloomy. I breathe heavily, the air escaping my mouth hanging in mid-air, shape shifting like some mysterious and magical element. It is chilly in here.

"Jem, what are you doing? Charlotte has been looking for you…" a silvery voice calls out.

"Jess…" I say turning to face her "I was merely reminiscing. It gives me some kind of peace to do so."

A look of disdain crosses her lovely face. "Reminiscing! Now we would all love to wallow in the past, wouldn't we? But then the drop to reality is very cruel, so I think it is wiser to consider the present our bitter friend."

I grin. "Words of wisdom from Miss Lovelace! I shall never forget this moment."

She scoffed before a look of sadness touched her dainty features. "Tessa is awake now, if you would like to see her."

"Good. I hope she is feeling better."

It has been two months since Will has left; that means two months of searching for him, following every lead I get. The silent brothers or any shadowhunter won't help so I have to work alone. This also means two months of torture and agony for Tessa who hides her unpleasant feelings remarkably well. Not one person has failed to notice how the sadness has dimmed her bright and blissful eyes, reduced her healthy body to a pitifully thin state. However, she refuses to talk about her pain, claiming with a smile that out of sight is out of mind. I take a deep breath, as if about to go under water, before making my way to the infirmary.

* * *

><p>"Will you eat something now? Look at you! Body as thin as a twig. Well?" Charlotte demanded, hands on her hip.<p>

"Very well, if you insist." Tessa complied meekly.

Our Sophie stands at the side, holding a tray with a bowl of hot chicken soup.

"That soup smells delicious and if Tessa refuses that, Sophie, I would like you to feed it to me. I adore your cooking" I say as I walk through the door and stop at a large white bed.

Hot blood stains Our Sophie's porcelain cheek and Tessa pouts.

"I adore your cooking too, Sophie. It's just…I feel like I might throw up anything I eat."

"Come now, a little food will not do you any harm, especially food which Our Sophie has cooked. Trust me." I say and smile.

"Our Sophie" has become the name for our maid here. Charlotte had always seemed to be with Sophie these past two months; talking to her, taking her out and they became closer to friends than maid and mistress. Jessamine grew angry at this new found friendship because she became more lonely seeing as Tessa understandably spent more time reading books than anything else. One day, when Charlotte and Sophie were leaving to a tea party, Jessamine had walked up to Sophie, pulled her by her hand and said "You have to come help me pick a dress for tomorrow's ball which is held at the _spring stone Manor. _It is very important. I must look my best." When Charlotte had intervened, saying they were getting late for the tea party with some women who had just arrived from Idris, Jess had said haughtily "Sophie is not yours. She is meant to serve _everybody_, me, Jem, Tessa and Henry so stop keeping her to yourself." Since then it was not Sophie but Our Sophie. Tessa still prefers Sophie, but sometimes when our maid has worked hard to do something she always compliments her saying "Our Sophie is the most skilled with her hands."

Tessa then smiles back at me, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her face looks flushed, her eyes alert and bright. Magnolia white face, rose lips and grey eyes; how could any woman be so beautiful. I look away from her gaze, suddenly very self-conscious. Charlotte looks worried, her hand fluttering to the base of her neck now and then. I sense something is not right but I still smile, and sit at the edge of Tessa's bed. She reluctantly accepts the tray from Sophie, takes a deep breath and her face pales to an almost bluish hue.

"Oh dear God! The smell…I can't have this soup. Sophie I am terribly sorry but…"

"It is alright Miss, No hard feelings…" Our Sophie replies, gently reclaiming the tray from Tessa's hands.

"Well, in that case, it is best if you get some rest now. Maybe you will feel better when you wake up. Our Sophie will be by your side almost always so if you need anything you know who to ask." Charlotte advised her voice strangely strained and weak.

Tessa lay back down on her side and pressed her face to the pillow. Nobody but I noticed the two small tears that shine in the corner of her big cat like grey eyes. Charlotte motions for everyone but Our Sophie to leave quietly. I stand up, walk closer to Tessa and smooth back the silky strands of hair from her face. She flushes a dark cherry shade before glancing up at me. Made brave by those unmoving tears I bend down and whisper "It will all be okay, I promise." She just nods and I smile before making my way out of the infirmary, my heart suddenly feeling like lead. It never failed to amaze me how easily Will could throw away what should be dearest to him and yet managed to get them back when he wished. Would he ever get Tessa back? Oh Will, if you were here to see how she is drowning in misery without you. Did you not think twice before you decided to crush a heart that was built from torn emotions to begin with? Suddenly I feel a vicious fury in my chest, directed not only against my best friend but myself; at my pathetic life that slips away as the clock ticks. What can I do for Tessa? I cannot even make the woman I love smile. I want to make her happy but I cannot. I am not Will. My hands turn to fists as I try to calm myself down.

"Jem, Are you alright?" Charlotte asks in a weary tone.

"Yes" I say hoarsely.

She looks older than her years, as if the bleakness of the past two months has eroded the peace and joy that kept her face pleasant and body filled with boundless energy. Her hand now rests on the stone wall as she gazes at me with concern.

"Well, I have some…news. Whether it is bad or good, I will leave for Tessa to decide."

"What? What happened? Is it about Will?" I ask feeling the panic heavy in my voice.

"No…well it concerns Will but clearly he is not concerned about any one here" she said bitterly.

"What is it, Charlotte?"

'Tessa is…well…she is with child."

I simply stare at her, my mind blank of any thoughts. What should I say to that? Should I feel sad, angry, jealous…does it matter when all I feel is empty?

"Oh…that is surprising." I say feeling foolish for some reason.

"I haven't said a word to anyone but you. Brother Enoch is aware of course, he was the one who realized that Tessa would be expecting. He had come in to check on her health seeing she was so poorly and well… the silent brothers can sense the presence of anything that is not completely nephilim. The other silent brothers will not be too happy about this…a child between a downworlder and a shadowhunter! I don't know what kind of a creature…" she stopped abruptly, as if even thinking about it made her shiver. "Also, Tessa is not exactly the typical downworlder…I don't know what to do… Jem, I was wondering if-"

"If I could tell Tessa the news?" I ask.

"Yes, please. I just cannot do it…cannot tell her that some strange creature is forming inside her!"

"We do not know that for sure. It could be perfectly fine for all we know. But if you wish me to tell her then fine, I shall do it."

"Thank you." She said and walked away towards her office mumbling something about a meeting with the clave.

I stand here alone, a dark tornado in my heart. I had agreed to tell Tessa but how should I do it. It was hardly appropriate for me to inform her of this considering I had nothing to do with it. As I stand here, submerged in unpleasant thoughts, the sharp sound of something smashing takes me running back into the infirmary. Tessa is sitting on her bed and gives me a sheepish smile.

"Sorry Jem, I moved to take a glass of water but the glass slipped and…"

"I see…it is alright. You should have just asked Our Sophie to help you. Where is she?" I ask as my racing heart calms and I move towards her side to pick up another glass to fill with water.

'Oh…I asked her to leave. You see, she looked terribly tired and it took me great energy to persuade her to go so…"

I grin. "So you do not want me pestering you for any further explanation and wasting anymore of your energy?"

She flushed a lovely roseate. "Oh no! I was just going to say that… please don't ask her back until she has had proper rest herself."

"Alright then, your wish is my command, Miss gray."

She managed a laugh. Then almost instantly her face slipped back to the indifferent expression she had skilled herself to carry since Will had gone. A few moments of unnerving silence followed and I decide I have to break the news to her one way or other. Something cold settles in the pit of my stomach increasing my nervousness. How should I do this without hurting her? Then it occurs to me that she might be well past hurt, maybe nothing could crush or shock her anymore.

"Tess…I have something to tell-"

"Please don't call me that." She asks controlling the fury in her voice.

I wince inwardly before carrying on.

"Okay…Tessa; there is something you should know. This might be hard to take but it is important."

She sits there silently, somehow making me feel foolish. My choices of words aren't the best.

"Do go on, what is it?"

Not sure how make it sound less surprising, I decide to say it plainly. "You are with child." The silence that follows is as loud as a roaring engine. "This is good news if you think about it since previously you were considered sterile." I add quickly and regret it immediately. Somehow it sounded awful to my ears.

I hold my breath waiting for her to speak and she does nothing less than surprises me with her response.

"I know…I knew even before anyone did. I felt it you know, something forming inside me…"

"That's maternal instinct, I would guess" I say gently.

She did not speak for a while after that, her eyes focusing on the wall ahead as I wait, my heart turning violently in my chest now and again. Then she slowly moved her hand up to the necklace with the clockwork pendant and twisted it between her fingers.

"I never thought…this…would happen but" and she stopped abruptly. She twisted her pendant with more speed now, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Tessa, I can imagine how hard this for you but you are strong and I know you are going to make it through."

She turned then, and stared at me with a look of confusion. It was as if she had forgotten who I was or what was happening. Then as if she had realized something she turned back to stare at the wall ahead of her.

"Tessa…" I pronounced her name softly for I felt any more than a whisper might hurt her in some way. Maybe behind this front of an iron willed person was a girl screaming and crying in her heart. An unexpected rush of affection causes me to rest my palm on hers.

"You think you can understand how I feel." She asked, her voice brittle and tone so severe I drew my hand back. "You think you know how it feels to be betrayed and humiliated by someone you love, do you? _Do you know, James Carstairs_?" she almost shouted.

"No, not quite" I answer plainly.

She seemed satisfied with my response and quietened down for a moment.

"I…had a dream yesterday" she started still staring ahead, twisting the necklace between her fingers with even more speed. "It was about a little girl."

"What happened in the dream?"

"There was a deep pit, filled with fire and boiling blood. The little girl was drowning in it, screaming continuously for someone to save her. She screamed and shouted until her throat was raw. Finally, when she decided to give up and accept her fate she saw a light; a brilliant and beautiful light. It was far away, very high compared to the depth of despair this girl was in. But she knew there was hope. The climb out was gruesome and terribly hard but the girl did not give up. Her knees were bloody, elbows bruised, face dirty and sweaty but she kept going. And as she neared the light, she looked down to see that the blood and fire were far below her. She decided that if she had come this far, she must be strong. When eventually she got out she saw for the first time that this mesmerizing light came from a pair of big, white and enchanting wings; the wings of a ravishingly beautiful boy. He looked terribly sad and broken and the girl thought she saw something of her in him, so she ran and flung her arms around him. Around them lay many pits, with dead people, rotten bones, decaying flesh-a large necropolis. They both hugged and the boy suggested that they should fly away together from this god forsaken place. The girl agreed happily and felt wonderful as the boy swept her off her feet and carried her away. They flew high, so very high. They soared the highest skies. The girl had never known such happiness before. Just as she was overwhelmed with joy, the boy smiled at her viciously. She seemed confused but soon realized that his arms were slipping away from her. She screamed and held onto him for her dear life but he let go…let go and watched her fall back into the necropolis and this time into an even deeper pit. The girl saw the boy while she fell, his mighty wings spread as he floated in mid-air. She wondered why he would do something so cruel to her. Just as her body hit the roasting fires, she realized that she had been stupid. Nobody could fight fate, and she had been foolish enough to think life would hold something better for her. Tears slid down her face as her body burnt .She had been falling in love with the boy but now she was only falling apart."

I sit here speechless, a lump settled in my throat. What could I say when I know well who the little girl represented. It was Tessa. Had it truly been so painful, falling in love with Will? I know that the pit with fire and blood was when Tessa's brother had betrayed her, Agatha had died and she had no family left. She had also found out she was a downworlder- a creature born off hell. I know that the light was Will, which I think is ironic because his life was dark, perhaps more than mine. Falling in love with him when he constantly broke her heart with one word or a simple action must have been agonising. But when she had crossed the distance between them, their happiness had been short lived and before long Will had let her go, allowed her to fall into the abyss of despair. Not sure how to comfort this sad girl in front of me, I stand up and ask her to rest well before I leave. As I walk out with a heavy heart, a bleak realization dawns on me. If Tessa saw only Will as her hope and light, then where did I fit in? Was I not dependable enough even as a friend? Did she simply not know how much I cared for her? I stop, turn and walk back to Tessa. She is staring outside the window, a distant look on her face.

"Tessa, I must say something."

She turns slowly and gives me a weary look.

"Please, just hear me out. The little girl did fail to notice something."

She blinks at me. "What?"

"She was so distracted by the beautiful boy that she did not see the one who stood by his side, quietly, waiting for the girl to notice him. You never noticed me…Tessa, did you?"

A look confusion before surprise claims her. "Why Jem! I have never ignored you, have I?"

I smile sadly. "No, you just did not notice the me who wanted you so much; wanted to caress your cheek, laugh and hold your hand, do the simple things you and Will did… My affections for you are much deeper than friendship."

"Jem…I cannot deal with-"

"I can take care of you. I have little life left but I want to be of help in some way to you. Please let me show you that I can love you as much as you want to be loved."

She stares at me, stunned at my forwardness.

"Jem…I don't-" she started painfully.

"I know…I know you do not feel the same way about me as I do about you but all I ask is for you to accept my help, at least as a friend. You cannot live alone being pregnant and I…wish to take you away from here. The silent brothers will be engulfing you like an amoeba with questions, poking in to your mind. They will be interested in what kind of a child you will birth and it will be frustrating, maddening. Let us leave here and I promise you will not regret it."

Looking at her face I know this is too much for her to take right now, so I ask her to think about it and before she can reply I leave. A new kind of hope fills me. I want to give Tessa happiness for I am eager to see her smile again. I want to show her that life has something amazing and wonderful waiting only for her. I shall put all bitter feelings behind me. She was a bright and lovely flower that is wilted now but I want to water it and love it, nourish it to grow and return to its beauty.I am sure it will grow. What time I have left, I can spend with someone I know I love, so much so that I would like to spoil her with all good and blissful things. I only hope her answer is, yes.


End file.
